A Whole Year?!?

I'm not sure if family blog/post frequency is an official modern-day metric of good parenting, but if it is... well... please don't call CPS.

Last time we wrote anything down, Sam had just turned one; now, yesterday she turned two! I'm sure my attempt at documenting some of the goings-on in the Crown-Lacey household over the last year will result in a severely incomplete yet annoyingly verbose post.

Although time is in fact constant, the last year has simultaneously passed in a whirlwind of activity and at a pace slower than a turtle (but not a snail). Samantha has gone from a crawling babbler to a running, jumping, swimming (yes! Swimming!) yet still babbling toddler. She is our favorite kid (and that's ok to say because she's JJ and Alexis' favorite too). And while we all love to watch her learn a new trick, or get her to say something just because the way she talks is cute, indecipherable Spanglish, she is becoming more of a little girl than a toddler. And with that, comes manipulation and even coercion--to a level we never experienced with the twins. Her "tantrums" started earlier than the twins' did... she'd throw herself onto the floor when told "no"--complete with feet stomping and alligator tears. But it has also been much easier to roll our eyes and ignore her than it was with the twins. So the acting out is at least short-lived. That is, unless Alexis is around. The dynamic between Alexis and Samantha is fascinating to observe. Alexis loves Samantha with a heart-warming sincerity, but she also loves being the hero. So when Samantha let's her tear ducts flow, Alexis is quick to come to her rescue--and simultaneously scold me for ignoring her while she's patting Sam on the back and shh-ing her... It's really quite comical to watch.

Speaking of sibling dynamics. We're extremely grateful for the degree to which the three of them all get along (a consequence, we think, of the fact that they never had the luxury of being an only child), but there does seem to be this strange triangle of hierarchy. Sam ADORES JJ, while Alexis fawns over Sam, and JJ is typically oblivious but gets strangely sad (not mad) when Sam and Alexis are off playing together without him. All in all though they get along much better with each other than they do with me.

Samantha loves to run around in her "birthday suit" and loves to change clothes throughout the day... she also like to take off her diaper while in her crib.  More than once, I've walked in to a sleeping Sam, curled up and mooning me.

JJ and Alexis STILL call each other "guls"... it started out almost two years ago when their older cousin referred to them collectively as "girls" (JJ had long hair if you remember). It's now a word that is definitely not "girls" and JJ will explain that Alexis doesn't call him a girl... but it morphed into something that sounds like "hey guls" when they're calling for each other. In fact, I never hear JJ or Alexis call out to each other by their formal names. When they talk about each other to me or someone else, they'll use the proper nouns, but when they're playing and trying to get each others attention, it's always "Hey Guls, come upstairs!!" "Guls, let's go play outside" "Come-on Guls, let's go!"

Now, for some anecdotes/stories from the last year (I'll try to keep this entertaining since there is no way I can keep it short--even if it's non-inclusive)....

For the longest time, Alexis was very focused on a specific set of bedtime dynamics.  She had a tummyache one night (one which I summarily dismissed only to be woken up by a vomiting 3 year old), and every night post-trauma she would panic and say "but my tummy hurts" to which we would reply, "go to sleep and you'll feel better" ... then she would start adding ailments onto the list "my tummy hurts and my head hurts"... and we'd reply "go to sleep and you'll feel better" "Ok, mommy"... after a while it became a 5 minute event and a list that challenged our understanding of anatomy.  We'd say "good night" and Alexis would sit up and exclaim "But my tummy hurts, and my head hurts, and my shoulders hurt, and my legs hurt, and my feet hurt... and my hair hurts, and my eyeballs hurt, and my [undecipherable body part] hurts!"  But we'd just lay her back down and say "go to sleep and you'll feel better" which always calmed her down.  At least we knew she was learning her basic (if not always accurate) anatomy.

JJ has continued to impress us with his seemingly innate sense of politeness and empathy.  At Christmastime, we discussed giving away presents to those in need and at first JJ balked at the idea, but once he thought about it, and asked a series of difficult-to-answer questions about why some kids don't get presents, he actually shed real tears and told me that we could give away some of his toys (but not his superheros--sympathy only goes so far at 3 apparently). 

When we were at the airport at Christmas waiting for a flight, I saw him go over to a man who was holding an infant and a few times heard him say things like, "what's your baby's name?" and "I have a baby too... her name is Sam" and "Do you have a mommy?  Where is she?"  When he was done interrogating him, he stauntered back over to me and exclaimed, "Mommy!  I just met the nicest Gentleman!  He has a baby like Samantha... Look!" And when I'm sitting on the couch with my legs up, or standing in the kitchen or elsewhere blocking his path, he always says "excuse me please mommy, I need to get passed."  And he is so quick to say thank you for even the littlest things like helping him put his shoes on, or buckling his seatbelt for him.  He may just be incredibly manipulative (because what 4 year old still needs help with shoes?), but we let it slide because the random "I love you mommy's" as he's being served a seriously bland lunch or dinner is just too cute.

Speaking of empathy, in January just after we returned from our Utah Christmas, my mom was admitted to the hospital and after a few days, it became evident that it was extremely serious and I should go back.  So I made reservations at 11 am to fly out at 9 pm.  I got home from work at 5:30 pm and had no more than 1.5 hours to pack, feed the kids dinner and go on my way.  I had promised the twins earlier to put together a present they received from their aunt and after cries of protest when I told them I had to go on a trip for a week and it would have to wait, I caved and opened the package, hoping for a rapid turn-around.  I was wrong. It was a puppet theater that initially appeared to be a tri-fold set-up.  Once I had all the pieces laid out of the floor I realized too late that this was a one hour minimum job.  But when I looked up, the kids had strewn the Styrofoam everywhere--the carpet was covered with the white misery and Samantha was eating it.  I yelled at Sam as she started to play with the screws, and smacked her hand away from the small pieces.  Alexis stomped up to me, wagged her finger in my face and said, "you don't hurt Samantha!"  oh... the echos of myself.  At some point, I lost it.  I still hadn't packed, or fed the kids, and Mike was late, still at work.  I had, in all honesty, my first anxiety attack.  I don't recommend them.  I started simultaneously sobbing and yelling at the twins to help pick up all the Styrofoam.  I asked them to get a bag to put all the pieces in, and after a few minutes, JJ and Alexis came back wtih sandwich baggies.  They were whimpering as they tried shoving the white crap in the too-small receptacles.  And isntead of thinking how at least they were trying to help, I just got more upset with them.  Then JJ came over to me, put his hands on my legs and said, "Mommy?  Mommy?  Just focus, OK?  Just focus."  And he sat there until I could collect myself.  Unfortunately, that display of JJ's was not a parent echo.

Last September (only 9 months ago), we started JJ and Alexis in a 2.5 hour 2-day-a-week preschool which JJ immediately despised and Alexis immediately loved.  Alexis is not as extroverted or gregarious as JJ, but she's much more in love with the idea of school and she relishes in the positive attention she gets.  Whereas JJ seems to respond to being punished, Alexis responds much more effectively to acknowledgment of good behaviour.  They've learned a lot in the last year--mostly just how to color in between the lines, but we trust that eventually they'll read and write.  Hopefully without too much effort on our part.

JJ recently started peeing standing up.  A turn of events that has resulted in a number of incidences, some of which involve copious amounts of Lysol.  But one time in particular, I was with the three kids in a handicap stall at a museum.  Sam was in her stroller and so thankfully contained.  I first wiped the seat and had Alexis go, then started to help JJ up, at which point he informed me he was like Daddy now, and could aim it just fine.  So as I wait for him to finish, Alexis exclaims, "Why don't I have a penis!"  "Because you're a girl"  "But look at what JJ can do--I want to pee standing up too"  "Well, at least we're not big campers, Alexis, because then you'd be really jealous"... I relayed that story to Mike later and he informed me of a similar incident where Alexis had just sighed, "Penises are so special"

In April, I thought it was prudent to take the kids back to Utah again to see my parents. Mike's work schedule negated his coming with us, so I took my first solo trip with all three.  We had to connect through Denver, and it was indeed memorable.  We survived, but I kid you not, pictures and video were taken of us.  I had purchased two carry-on spinners (suitcases with 4 wheels you can push upright), and JJ and Alexis would straddle those as I pushed one in each had while I carried Sam on my back.  At one point, Alexis fell asleep while riding and I'm sure were were quite the sight.  A few awesome comments, "I sure am glad I'm not you lady!" and "I'd kill myself if I had you're job".  On one of the flights, JJ had to sit next to a pilot who was in uniform while I sat with Sam and Alexis across the isle.  Poor pilot.  I could keep JJ quite during the period where "approved portable electronic devices may be used" but not during take off and landing.  He never stopped peppering questions at his seat mate.  The pilot was incredibly polite but declined JJ's offer to come over to his grandpa's house in Utah to play.  The most memorable thing I overheard was JJ asking the Pilot why they weren't seeing any Giants living in the clouds.

Last summer (11 months ago) we finished construction on our pool and have enjoyed it immensely ever since.  Alexis and JJ are freakin' amazing swimmers (I'm allowed to brag, right?) and Sam is trying hard to catch up.  They love hosting pool parties and are always asking to have friends over.  They're favorite thing to do right now (after swimming or playing on the iphones) is dress-up.  Alexis likes to dress up as princesses (of course) and JJ can't get enough superhero costumes.  Sam, she's good with either.

Lastly, we started attending church with the kids.  Something we haven't done for a couple of years as, well, we had 3 kids under 2, then under 3!  The first Sunday, after sunday school, Alexis shows me a magnet she got from class with a picture of Jesus and a scripture quote.  "Who is this guy?" She asked.  Yeah, we're the best parents ever.