Having boy/girl twins can sometimes be like conducting a social experiment. One of the things we've noticed since the very early days is the way people interact with JJ or Alexis based on the color of their clothing (or, in the NICU, the color of their preemie hats). The tone and the adjectives of choice are decidedly gender-specific. That is, people generally speak to Alexis is a tone that is about 2 octaves higher than when they speak to JJ. And here are some examples of the words people use with or to describe JJ or Alexis:
Alexis: Sweet, delicate, pretty, beautiful, cute big-eyed, gorgeous, dainty, perfect, honey, baby, etc.
JJ: Big, tough, strong, fat, chubby, fatso, spoiled, bud, bubba, silly, funny, etc.
Of course, occasionally someone will use an adjective to describe them both ("Aren't they cute" or "what happy babies"), but when speaking to/about them individually, the words and tone are definitely "gender" driven. They are not identical babies, we admit, but the words sometimes aren't necessarily accurate. For example, while JJ weighs more than Alexis, their length-for-weight is actually very close. In fact, our pediatrician last week noticed how much more chubby Alexis' thighs are compared with JJ's. But JJ is the one who's girth is mentioned more frequently, while Alexis' looks are focused on. We happen to think JJ is just as beautiful as Alexis, and that Alexis is just as tough and strong as JJ and they both love to laugh!
All of this leads us to think that nurture may have more influence on trucks vs. my-little-pony than we thought before we had kids. The challenge will be minimizing the social gender expectations in order to allow Alexis and JJ discover their true interests. Wish us luck!
In other news, we're headed to Utah for Thanksgiving and can't wait for the babies to play in the snow! JJ's learned to pull up and crawl (though not very efficiently), and Alexis is rocking and scooting now (she will also cruise if propped against the couch or a toy). We're excited for this next round of parenthood (chasing after two moving babies)!
3 comments:
No snow yet... but if you guys happen to be coming through Provo during the holiday it would be fun to visit!
Hey Alicia... If you have a moment, let's try and get together while you are in Utah. I'd l see those cute babies.
What an interesting experiment you are conducting! It has been amazing to me to see that each of my boys gets more boyish if that makes sense. I don't know if it is by the time we had Micah we're set in our ways or what, but he fits the male stereotypes pretty well. Good luck and cute kids!!
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